Some Experience Required

Okay, okay. I admit it. I thought it would be much easier than this. I worked with my first three children. When the fourth was born, we were in a better position and it was too expensive to have them all in daycare anyway. I was homebound, finally, and I was ecstatic! I would lovingly prepare meals, I would keep a clean and tidy home, I would be a room mom, I would bake cookies and lovingly meet my babies at the door after school with my baked cookie goodness.

Soon after I found myself in a stay-home-mom position, I realized something. In all my years of working, each job I applied for, every position that hired me, I received training. I was shown how exactly to do my job that had been offered to me. How to use the equipment, how to manage those I was in charge of, how to make sure that my time was used wisely and how to prioritize in order to complete what was needed for the day. However, when you become a stay-home mom (a term which I have come to loathe because it couldn't be further from the truth), no one comes to give you a two-week training session on how to do it. There is no predecessor to show you the ropes, to give you the "here is how I did it, now make it your own" examples. Growing up, my mother was home with us up to a point, but then she worked. We tidied things up at the end of the day and everyone cleaned on the weekends. Mom and Dad did well to keep everything up, and honestly not much was required of us. Keep your room clean and help clear the table after meals. That was about it.

So here I am, a new mom, toddlers at home, a school ager to get ready, a house to clean, mouths to feed...and not a CLUE how to do it. Thankfully, I have had my AMAZING mother-in-law and lots of blogger moms and friends and websites that have given me great advice over the years. I should have it all together. Life should be easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy.

Except I don't. And it's not.

How do other moms do it? You know the ones. The moms that volunteer daily at the school? The moms that always look so chipper at the store, having just left the gym? The moms who are happily chatting away at the park while their kiddos play? The ones running, walking the dog, sitting at soccer practices and dance classes and choir groups and Bible studies? How do they do it? Who is cleaning their houses? Who is scraping the dried ketchup off the underside of the table? Who is peeling off the paper glued to the carpet with rubber cement? Who is searching the internet trying to figure out how to safely remove white nail polish off dark hardwood floors? Who went to the store? Who scrubbed the toilets...just like YESTERDAY, because you have small children and one is a boy with bad aim? And FORGET the "deep cleaning". Because here's the thing...I've been to their houses. They don't look like mine. Theirs are immaculate. HOW? It makes me want to close my dust-caked blinds and ignore the doorbell.

Not to dredge up a heated debate (although I do love them if done with respect & grace), but when a certain public figure mentioned/implied that homemakers have it so easy, my inner self begged to ask....WHAT?? Excuse me, but give me quiet drive to and from work and a desk to sit at (SIT???!!!) all day again. PLEASE. Let me use a bathroom with toilet paper and clean floors (and no one at the door talking to me or trying to get in). Please let me talk to people and deal with people who can communicate with me without throwing a tantrum and flinging applesauce (although I wouldn't put it past some adults in the workplace).

Here's the thing...the truth of the matter. At the end of the day, if you want me to search my heart and be completely truthful, I wouldn't dare take that job. Not now. SOON, but not now. I'm called to be with these kids I love and to raise them and nurture them and feed them and care for them. And apparently, to haul them around from place to place constantly. (smile) What I will tell you is, I wouldn't trade it for all the world. What I do know is, I need to put my foot down and set some rules. Rules I should have had them following LONG before now. I need to get everyone on board, now that they are old enough, and recruit some helpers. They need to not only learn to clean in order to help and be a productive member of the family, they also will need to know this someday for THEIR families. Unfortunately, I'm not quite sure where to begin or how to do it. Suggestions?? If you happen to be in the business of being a "life coach", or maybe you're just really good at this, PLEASE HELP ME!

(Because I'm really not.)

K